Goodbye November and hello December. It's Almost a New Year

Truth be told, I have spent my recent years slowly finding my way back to loving this time of year again. I cursed for a long time the months of November and December as it undoubtedly reminds me of a time of losing a very hard loss, my grandmother.  And all at the same time, it is about now where I self-reflect like a mother.   

Because my life has taken some low lows and reached some high highs after losing my grandmother.  And just about always, I think of her.   Sometimes, she thinks of me, I am sure.  Because I know there are nights where one little star illuminates a little brighter for me to notice.  And sometimes, when I really need her, I find it no coincidence to see a little butterfly hovering over the shoulders of  my baby boys.

And while this piece is not of that, it is about a whirlwind of emotions that lead to a very grateful soul.

This time of year brings me to a place where I am eternally grateful for all that is of my life; past, present and then some.

I am thankful for the man I met as a girl who stole my heart and became my life partner, best friend.   I must have always known he'd make me this happy.
For the two little boys that came out of said love.  
I am thankful for the family that is mine: for the union we will always have and for the love that never dies between three siblings and two divorced parents.
For the solid friendships that remain in my life; the ones that will always hold a special place no matter how much our lives have changed, and even some of the lost ones that I sometimes miss.
For the people that I surround myself with.
For all the beautiful memories I will think of at my death bed: baseball parks watching my brother, later my high school sweetheart and now my Noah; summers of rollerblades and hide 'n go seek, every weekend night spent at the BP, Sundays with my Dad, breakfast with my grandmother, and just about anything with the five girls that always had my back , and still do.
And so on...

And mostly, I am grateful for the path that I have taken.  For the place I am currently in: interrupted writing in between work, daycare, kindergarten, peewee basketball, christmas shopping, and so on.

Because at the end of this week, it will be 10 years since I held my grandma's hand.  But we all know, she's never left our side. Because somewhere out there, someone is always keeping my heart full.

I am grateful for this life of mine.  And you.